Being myself…

These days I have been thinking a lot about myself. It’s almost year end and am nearing to my birthday, so I just thought of counting the years I have really lived…lived for myself. And I couldn’t it make the count to not even one year. Alarming …it is!!!

I haven’t done any forbidden sins that bible quotes. I haven’t hurt anyone. I haven’t done anything against my conscience till now. But still I haven’t done anything for myself. Whatever I have done till now is what I have been asked to society, by parents, by friends. The other things I have done by myself was to please someone else. And, in my life till now I have faced this problem of ‘difficulty in saying no’.

What else one needs for suppressing their own personality? Are we losing our own personality ? No…,may be not revealing our own personality is the problem. There is no point in finding why are we behaving like this. The postmortem result is definitely going to be any of these:

1. We are conditioned to act in a certain way
2. Our minds and conscience has been tuned to respond to others feelings than one’s self.
3. We are afraid of society

I still argue with my mother on one thing. There are many things that we argue on but the one thing I could never accept even after thinking from her side was, she says ‘a man has to live for others happiness, not his own’. It sounds great. It’s very difficult but if everyone thinks this way then I think we don’t need another heaven above our head. But why I couldn’t accept this is, in this world the one who lives only for others happiness will always be exploited. Nothing else. I have experienced that many times. Even my mother had. But she still believes in it. And I still don’t. That doesn’t mean that I don’t care for other’s happiness.But what I say is that the priority is our own happiness.

Why can’t we think ‘what we really want’ before we commit on something or someone ? Why can’t we just say ‘No’ to someone or something if we don’t agree to that ? Why can’t we do what we love to do if that doesn’t hurt anyone else ?

It says there is nothing impossible for a living man. So why don’t we try on this ? Now I know what I have to do about this.
1. Next time when someone asks me to do something, am definitely going to ask myself, “Do I really want to do this? Or am I doing this just to please someone?”
2. Next time when I take a decision in my life, am going to ask myself, “ Am I really happy with this ? Or am I doing this to make someone else happy?”
3. Next time when I disagree with someone, I am going to say ‘No’ rather than simply agreeing on anything.

Because, hiding one’s personality is same as not having a personality. And how long can one exist without a personality ? Rise up. Rise up for yourself.


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